Published: November 2, 2009
We Are Family |
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By Aaron Kase AMES, IA – Bernard Collins and Cory Richards have been together for nearly 30 years. They claim they fell in love at first sight, have never strayed from each other, and have shared a house for the last 25 of those years.
Published: October 23, 2009
Hitchhiker Asks If He Can Drive, Car Owner Feels Awkward Saying No |
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EXIT 23, I-84 – The mood outside the 7-11 rest stop remains tense, as Ernie Solbowicz delays returning to his Honda Civic and the perilous situation currently developing within.
Published: October 19, 2009
Man Sees the Light, Converts to Diet of High Moral Fiber |
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Mike Rawlins used to be dogmatic about his morning routine: each day, he would awaken at 6 a.m., prostrate himself on the floor for his morning sit-ups, and then take a cleansing baptism in the shower. And each day, before heading off to work he would have a cup of coffee and a big bowl [...]
Published: October 9, 2009
Quadriplegic Drummer Seeks Stardom |
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By Aaron Kase SHEFFIELD, UK – John Moon is looking for a band. Like many aspiring musicians, the drummer uses the newspaper, the internet, and follows the local concert scene, looking for mates to play with.
Published: October 2, 2009
Steal This Show |
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LOS ANGELES, CA – LAPD arrested area resident Ben Turley late yesterday, in connection with the theft of the hit television show The Big Bang Theory. Turley, 26, has since been charged with stealing over 1,200 shows over a period of 10 years.
Published: September 25, 2009
Mad Tasty! |
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OMAHA, NE – New pizzeria Psycho Pizza is focusing the local community’s attention on mental disorders, giving victims of these debilitating behavorial patterns a voice in the national debate on healthcare.
Published: September 18, 2009
Hubble Dinger |
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PHILLIPS, ME – In a move certain to generate controversy within the orthodox “End Is Nigh” community, local astronomy hobbyist Adam Dinger has predicted that the world will not end in 2010.
Published: September 15, 2009
Stupidity tries |
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By Aaron Kase EUGENE, OR – Morton Thudrucker Jr. has filed a lawsuit against his parents, Morton Thudrucker Sr. and Betsey Thudrucker, claiming that the low IQ bequeathed on him by their DNA has caused him a lifetime of low wages, missed opportunities, and constant humiliation.
Published: September 11, 2009
Keys, please... |
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CAMBRIDGE, MA – After more than a year of research, a team consisting of the most brilliant minds at MIT has finally closed the long-debated question of where stuff is when you lose it.
Published: September 4, 2009
Go fish! |
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At long last, Thomas Farley’s 10-year search for his beloved goldfish, Thaddeus Maximilian Huxley, has come to a joyous conclusion. Man and fish were reunited on September 4th, 2009 in a tearful display of emotion and relief.
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