Rare Carnivorous Moustache Strikes Again

By Brooks Sherman

Published: December 4, 2009

RAINELLE, WV – Local law enforcement is warning residents throughout Greenbrier County to stay indoors, after the discovery of yet another victim in the rampage of a dangerous rogue moustache.

Nigerians Warned of Latest American Internet Scam

By Brooks Sherman

Published: November 30, 2009

ABUJA – The Nigerian government has issued a warning to its citizens, following a recent upsurge in email spam from overseas locations. Most of the internet traffic has been traced back to the United States of America, a troubled North American nation with a floundering economy.

Worst Case Scenario Simulator Spreads Joy, Fear

By Jill McKay

Published: November 23, 2009

LAS VEGAS – Little Johnny Chambers got just what he wanted for his birthday this year: the Worst Case Scenario Simulator. His parents, Bill and Martha, thought they were buying just another computer

Voices in Mass Murderer’s Head Admit: They Really Did Tell Him to Do It

By Brooks Sherman

Published: November 20, 2009

DETROIT – In a stunning reversal at the end of a long court case, the voices in the head of Frank Duffy, a man charged with the brutal slayings of over a dozen homeless people, have come forward to admit full culpability for all of the crimes.

Exasperated Pet Neuters Wayward Owner

By Brooks Sherman

Published: November 16, 2009

DUNDALK, MD – It is a classic case of “Dog bites man”: Roscoe, a 4-year-old Cocker Spaniel living at 332 Chestnut Drive, had his owner, Steven Cromberg, fixed yesterday.

Smokey Bear Unveils New Public Service Announcement: “Only YOU Can Prevent Wildfires… And If You Don’t, I Will Maul You.”

By Brooks Sherman

Published: November 9, 2009

YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK – Smokey Bear, longstanding lobbyist for the influential U.S. Forest Service and the National Association of State Foresters, publicly revealed today the powerful new slogan behind which these two firms are now uniting

Gay Couple Disappointed in Marriage

By Guest Contributor

Published: November 2, 2009

By Aaron Kase AMES, IA – Bernard Collins and Cory Richards have been together for nearly 30 years. They claim they fell in love at first sight, have never strayed from each other, and have shared a house for the last 25 of those years.

Hitchhiker Asks If He Can Drive, Car Owner Feels Awkward Saying No

By Brooks Sherman

Published: October 23, 2009

EXIT 23, I-84 – The mood outside the 7-11 rest stop remains tense, as Ernie Solbowicz delays returning to his Honda Civic and the perilous situation currently developing within.

Man Sees the Light, Converts to Diet of High Moral Fiber

By Brooks Sherman

Published: October 19, 2009

Mike Rawlins used to be dogmatic about his morning routine: each day, he would awaken at 6 a.m., prostrate himself on the floor for his morning sit-ups, and then take a cleansing baptism in the shower. And each day, before heading off to work he would have a cup of coffee and a big bowl [...]

Quadriplegic Drummer Seeks Stardom

By Guest Contributor

Published: October 9, 2009

By Aaron Kase SHEFFIELD, UK – John Moon is looking for a band. Like many aspiring musicians, the drummer uses the newspaper, the internet, and follows the local concert scene, looking for mates to play with.

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