BROOKLYN, NY – Police broke up a heated match of dreidel today at the bar mitzvah of Abraham Feldstein. When police arrived, several guests were gathered in a circle yelling insults in Hebrew and Yiddish.
LAS VEGAS – Little Johnny Chambers got just what he wanted for his birthday this year: the Worst Case Scenario Simulator. His parents, Bill and Martha, thought they were buying just another computer
BALTIMORE – Researchers at Johns Hopkins have concluded that Bobby Wilson is in fact a buttface, confirming the suspicions of his classmates at Westwood Elementary School. “Using a variety of tests, including questionnaires, IQ tests, personality tests,
CAMBRIDGE, MA – The announcement by MIT scientists Wednesday that they’ve discovered a new type of nucleic acid, trioxynucleic acid, or TNA, has piqued the interest of scientists worldwide.
Forget The Godfather II. Forget The Empire Strikes Back. And yes, although it might be hard, forget Speed 2: Cruise Control. Without a doubt the greatest sequel of all time is Troll 2.
If you like robot gorillas with No Fear backpacks emoting, then this is the movie for you!
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA – Google unveiled its latest product to an eager crowd at their press conference today, the G-1000, a humanoid robot that’s designed to find and kill fugitive 10-year-olds using Google’s patented search engine technology.
SEATTLE – A volunteer trying to elicit donations for the American Civil Liberties Union Friday assaulted several passers-by with his nonsensical rambling. Samantha Marshall described her harrowing experience: He called out at me, “Do you support same sex marriage?” and when I stopped and said I did, he talked about the Bush administration’s condoning illegal [...]
Nintendo’s new game, the Wii Lazy. “It’s about time someone acknowledged the benefits of not exercising,” said Paul Hogan, 354 pounds. “So many people these days are on the ‘Exercise more and eat less’ bandwagon. That is just not true. People’s bodies respond differently to different things. My body, for instance, only functions on a [...]
It was a normal day, the day it happened. I came home from work and greeted my husband Markus with a hug. But then I noticed that he didn’t return the hug because he was too busy staring at a box on the kitchen counter. “What’s that?” I asked. Voice quivering, he just said, “Look.” [...]
Geltfellas | 
Worst Case Scenario Simulator Spreads Joy, Fear | 
What a Buttface. | 
Scientists Fascinated by Newly Discovered TNA | 
Troll 2: The Greatest Sequel of All Time | 
Congo: The Greatest Movie About Monkeys with Lasers on Their Heads Ever Made | 
Google Unveils G-1000 Killer Robot | 
Nintendo Debuts the Wii Lazy, Much to Fatties' Delight | 
My Mom Is a Criminal Mastermind | 
