Psycho Pizza Shows Mental Illness Is No Laughing Matter

By Alexa Darrin

Published: September 25, 2009

OMAHA, NE – New pizzeria Psycho Pizza is focusing the local community’s attention on mental disorders, giving victims of these debilitating behavorial patterns a voice in the national debate on healthcare. “I saw a real need for mental illness awareness in this community,” says owner Joe Engerton. “Plus, there wasn’t a pizza place on this street.”

Since its opening, Psycho Pizza has started a real craze in town, and even Mayor Rodney Hillhurst is an ardent supporter. “Everyone complains that the mentally ill are portrayed negatively in our society,” says Hillhurst. “But you’d have to be retarded not to love pizza!”

Customers at Psycho Pizza can order their meals in one of three ways: “Bipolar,” with the pizza split into two sections, each with its own set of toppings; “Schizo,” with the pizza split into four sections; or “Hyperactive,” which is a unique smattering of various toppings, assembled by someone who suffers from Attention Deficit Disorder.

But Psycho Pizza is more than just another themed restaurant. “What we really want to promote is awareness—and to raise awareness that awareness is a privilege,” explains Engerton’s wife, Marilyn, who suffers from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. “As far as I’m aware, someone with ADHD can’t even focus awareness on one topic for very long without drugs, so we should be aware of the privilege.”

It should also be noted that Psycho Pizza strives for authenticity, requiring that all employees suffer from some form of mental illness. (Engerton himself has an acute case of Intermittent Explosive Disorder.) The restaurant recently received a Golden Timeclock Award from the International Labour Organization in recognition of their contribution to socially just hiring practices.

The restaurant’s campaign to bring attention to mental illness as a serious disease appears to be working. “There’s been a lot of discussion about healthcare reform,” says customer Greg Bunsen between mouthfuls. “People are talking about death panels, accessibility to adequate care, and what the logo on the government-issued health insurance cards will look like. But who has gone to bat for the whack jobs and nutcases? Nobody but Psycho Pizza.”

“Obama should care,” insists local Doug Mackey, “He’s black, and everyone knows those people are batshit crazy.” (Mackey was unable to confirm if this was an American Psychiatric Association officially sanctioned term, and the NAACP is reportedly furious.)

“I just want to make sure I get the treatment I need, with this new healthcare plan and all,” says Jimmy Huff, an employee with ADHD. “Because…hey is that Blake Lively from Gossip Girl? Wait, what was I talking about?”

Doctors at Bridges, the local mental hospital, are very enthusiastic about the implications of the new restaurant’s popularity, but not everyone has been caught up in the hoopla. “I don’t know what the big deal is,” complains Josh Owen, a local high school student. “Everyone at my job is crazy, and I work at Denny’s.”