Man Sues Parents For Stupidity, Mental Anguish

By Guest Contributor

Published: September 15, 2009

By Aaron Kase

EUGENE, OR – Morton Thudrucker Jr. has filed a lawsuit against his parents, Morton Thudrucker Sr. and Betsey Thudrucker, claiming that the low IQ bequeathed on him by their DNA has caused him a lifetime of low wages, missed opportunities, and constant humiliation.

Thudrucker, 34, used to work at McDonalds but was recently fired for incompetence and is currently unemployed. His checkered work history includes past employment at several other fast food chains, such as Burger King, Hardees, and Long John Silver. He has, in addition, held a number of landscaping and farm labor jobs, as well as one disastrous stint as an electronics warehouse security guard.

“They told me they were tax inspectors, and they had to come at night because of their busy schedule,” he explained, referring to the burglars who carried away computers and fax machines from the warehouse while he stood by and watched.

Thudrucker has been fired from every job he has ever had, and estimates lost wages at around one hundred thousand dollars, plus an additional four hundred and fifty thousand dollars in income he could have earned over the last sixteen years if he were smarter and able to compete for higher paying positions.

Then there are the scams he has fallen victim to, most recently releasing his bank information to a Nigerian group that claimed to be ready to transfer millions of dollars to his account. The scammers made off with all fifty four dollars and seventy two cents Thudrucker had in his savings account. Thudrucker claims to have lost about five hundred dollars over the years to various internet scams and Ponzi schemes. “In a way it’s good that I haven’t earned very much money,” he said, “Or else I could have lost a lot more.”

In addition to the stated claims, Thudrucker is also asking for seventy-five million dollars in mental anguish and emotional pain and suffering, for years of people making fun of him and belittling his low intelligence. “The kids at school used to call me all kinds of names,” he recalled, his eyes brimming with tears, “Dumbrucker, Thudhead, cement head, retard. My teachers used to tell me I’d never amount to anything. The worst part was, I knew they were right.”

He is hoping his parents will be found liable for his pitiable life because they provided both his genes and the environment in which he was raised. “Think about if they had raised me better, and given me smarter DNA, he told reporters. “I could have done anything. I could have been an astronaut, or even a grocery store manager.”

He has pointed to his sister Thelma, who recently graduated from community college and has already lined up a job at the meatpacking plant, as proof that his parents could produce children capable of accomplishment “if they really wanted to.”

When asked for comment, Morton Thudrucker Sr. said, “I don’t know what’s wrong with the boy. I held down a job cleaning toilets at the University for fifty years, and I ain’t no genius.”

Thudrucker Sr. says his son can have his entire net worth if he really wants it, which is estimated at three thousand, two hundred fifty dollars.