MIT Study Confirms: Stuff Officially Always In the Last Place You Look

By Alexa Darrin

Published: September 11, 2009

CAMBRIDGE, MA – After more than a year of research, a team consisting of the most brilliant minds at MIT has finally closed the long-debated question of where stuff is when you lose it. “Everyone has always said it was in the last place they looked, but we wanted to turn this theory into a law.” says Dane Alder, the research team leader.

The project was fraught with hurdles, as the team had to determine the method by which they would conduct the research, and how to organize the data. Some wanted to use a pie chart, some wanted to use a bar graph, and yet a smaller group wanted to use a power point presentation. “What was really interesting,” reflects Alder, “is that stuff is either in the first place you look, or the last place. It is never in the middle.” Alder continued to explain that the first place often becomes the last place if the search is aborted, which occurs in 95% of all cases.

While the results of this study are truly groundbreaking, the research team is already looking to the next step. “What we need now to make these results meaningful,” says Alder, “is a way determine how to figure out what that last place is.” The group hopes to be able to develop a formula for pinpointing where the “last place” is, something a layperson would be able to use. “This is going to be even bigger than e=mc²,” he promises with a huge grin.

Preliminary research has given the team a start. Some of the more common last places have included: in the pocket of the jeans you wore last night, under the couch cushions, in the freezer, in the trash, and under the pile of dirty laundry. “This is a great start,” says Alder, “But we need a surefire method of figuring out where your specific last place is.”

Their efforts have garnered the attention of Apple CEO Steve Jobs, who recently announced plans to develop an iPhone application that will help you locate that “last place.” “There will be a recording of an angry person yelling ‘Where the fuck did I leave that stupid thing,’” explains Jobs, “to give the search a more realistic feel, and also to save you the energy of having to say it yourself.” Consumers will have the choice of either male or female voices, and be able to choose from over 100 languages.

“What MIT has done is really exciting,” proclaims Jobs. “This will result in a huge amount of saved time and energy for everyone, time that can be used playing Airigo or Pinball 360 on their iPhones.”

Alder and his team are hopeful that the collaboration with Apple will mean that a larger group of people will benefit from the study. “We are just trying to make the world a better place,” says Alder. “And I am just happy that we are going to be able to do it one last place at a time.”