Three Weeks Before Inauguration, McCain Guarantees Victory on January 20th

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Published: January 1, 2009

NEW YORK – Unfettered by his decisive loss in the 2008 presidential election, Senator John McCain has vowed to continue his campaign for the presidency until January 20th, despite every report that indicates President-elect Barack Obama will be sworn in as the 44th President of the United States of America. Though Senator McCain gave a short but explicit speech conceding defeat following the election on November 4th, he has resurfaced, assuring the American public that “the fight is not yet over.” McCain spoke at a rally in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, where he assured the crowd of approximately 2,000 that he was not about to give up. “Sure, we may be down, my friends, but we’re not out until there’s only one man standing on the steps of the Capitol, swearing an oath to defend the Constitution.” Reports coming out of the McCain camp are mixed. Some illustrate solidarity and support for what is a reported show of resolve; whereas others indicate that they genuinely believe the 72-year-old senator from Arizona has gone completely insane.