Ask Bobby Jindal
By Guest Contributor
Published: May 1, 2009
Dear Bobby Jindal,
My roommate’s grooming habits are absolutely disgusting. I don’t know how he does it, but after waking up he goes from his bedroom to the bathroom to the kitchen and out the door, leaving a path of destruction in his wake-fingernail clippings, beard hairs, toothpaste globs, coffee spills, flecks of bread that he flossed out of his teeth. I’ve tried dropping hints about cleaning up after himself, and I’ve even left notes all over the apartment advising him to be considerate toward me. Today I looked on passiveaggressivenotes.com and saw that he’d submitted one of the notes I’d written! Talk about passive aggressive! How can I get my slob roommate to shape up?
I’ll passive aggressive you!
Dear Passive Aggressive.
Let me tell you a story. During Katrina, I visited one of my old coworkers, Councilman Sammy Keen. Now Sammy and I, we never got along too well. He was always picking arguments with me about this and that.
He’d say, “Bobby, we need to increase teachers’ salaries.”
And I’d say, “Sammy, you go out into the community and you ask people, ‘Do you want to pay more taxes?’ And if they say yes, I’ll eat my hat.”
Sammy was full of crazy ideas. One time he told me we needed to increase funding for something called “SAT prep courses.” I told him, what Louisiana needs to do is fund prep courses on reigning in government spending.
Thank you for listening. God bless you. God bless Louisiana. And God bless America.
Bobby Jindal
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Dear Bobby Jindal,
I’m usually a very confident and assertive person, but for some reason, I just can’t stand up to one of my coworkers. He’s at least 30 years older than me and has always spoken to me like I was a child, never even bothering to hide his exasperation when I ask him a simple question. His attitude and my subservient reaction to him are making me nuts! How can I show my coworker that I’m not a child?
No, YOU make a copy of the TPS report
Dear Copy,
My parents came to this country from a distant land. As I grew up, my parents taught me traditional American values like supporting our troops, looking out for my neighbors, and living within my means. They also taught me to pay my taxes on time and in full because it’s my duty as a member of this great country.
But on April 15th of this year, I felt a great deal of unease. Unease because the Democrats in Washington continue to raise taxes, spend money we don’t have, and saddle our children with debt. You know, as much as I love my parents, I sure don’t want to have to help them pay their mortgage!
I promise you that I will reach across the aisle and work with Democrats as best I can to ensure that next April 15th, you’ll be happy to pay your taxes.
Thank you for listening. God bless you. God bless Louisiana. And God bless America.
Bobby Jindal
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Dear Bobby Jindal,
What’s wrong with you? Are you ok?
Concerned Reader
Dear Reader,
Last week my daughter Selia handed me a permission slip from her school for a field trip to the science museum. Now, I signed the slip because I want my daughter to have a fun time at the museum with her classmates, but I looked her in the eye and I said, “Selia, always remember to think critically, especially when it comes to science.” She just nodded in that wise way that children have and asked if she could go ride bikes. Well, I just laughed and said sure. Crazy kids these days.
But then I remembered that in Washington today, tax and spend Democrats want to burden my kids with a staggering national debt. They claim that by raising taxes on the very wealthy the debt will be lessened. They claim that we need to improve our health care system. And they say that we need to stimulate our economy by passing the biggest spending bills this great country has ever seen. But those of us who lived through Hurricane Katrina, we have our doubts.
The United States is the greatest nation in the world, having triumphed over almost every form of adversity known to man. And we will triumph again.
Thank you for listening. God bless you. God bless Louisiana. And God bless America.
Bobby Jindal
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