Rare, Elusive Wise Latina Woman Spotted in Capitol

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Published: July 20, 2009

WASHINGTON – White males on Capitol Hill were stunned last week by the sudden appearance of a wise Latina woman during an otherwise normal convening of the Senate Judiciary Committee. Proceedings were temporarily suspended as the assembled Senators strained to catch a glimpse of the exotic specimen.

“I gotta get a shot of this for the wife and kids,” gushed Arlen Specter (D-PA) as he eagerly wound the disposable camera he had purchased with his sunblock and Obama T-shirt at a nearby stand. “They’re never going to believe it!”

“Look at her,” marveled an equally enchanted Patrick Leahy (D-VT). “She looks so natural, so mainstream!”

Although most Senators and assembled press clamored excitedly to get close enough to touch the Hispanic female, there were still some with concerns. “Careful now, Jeffy,” Lindsey Graham (R-SC) scolded an overly eager Jeff Sessions (R-AL). “We don’t know where she’s been. She could be activist.”

Other white men are also concerned by the implications of the wise Latina woman’s unexplained presence in the Capitol. “The DC area is not her natural habitat,” said Tom Coburn (R-OK). “How did she get here?”

“She must have gotten lost,” mused John Cornyn (R-TX). “This could be the result of global warming.”

“Or El Niño,” Graham suggested ominously.

(Photo courtesy of the New York Times)