Zoolander’s Evil Twin Strikes Again!
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- Government Shutdown May Or May Not Ruin Your Weekend, Life
- Local Company Initiates ‘Bring Your Illegitimate Daughter to Work Day’
- Nescafé Products Drugged, Says Despot; In Other News, Nescafé Sales Skyrocket
- Local Woman Finds Twitter, Loses Soul
- Man Seeks Divorce from Reality, Citing Irreconcilable Differences
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