“Most Interesting Man in the World” Spotted Performing Series of Uninteresting Acts

By Joel Turner

Published: June 2, 2009

MEXICO CITY – The Brazilian tabloid Jornais do Brasil broke a story Sunday depicting “The Most Interesting Man in the World” unapologetically carrying out a series of uninteresting acts. Mr. The Most Interesting Man, age 58 or 67, was photographed changing the oil in his 1976 Maserati Bora, doing his ex-brother in-law’s taxes, and buying tickets to see the new Star Trek movie at a commercial multiplex. Photographs of said pedestrian acts clearly depict Mr. The Most Interesting Man and threaten to irrevocably tarnish the sexy/daring/dashing/irresistable/intriguing reputation of the “Sultan of Suave.” Dos Equis, the chief benefactor of The Most Interesting Man in the World’s international intrigue has decided to temporarily suspend their advertising contract, pending a thorough audit of his acts, interesting or otherwise. “We are as shocked as everyone else,” announced Hank Bostwick, spokesperson for Dos Equis. “We expect the face of Dos Equis to exude sex, class, intrigue, and interestingness at all times. This is a genuine disappointment.” The Garlic Press was unable to reach Mr. The Most Interesting Man for comment, primarily because he doesn’t own a phone, but also because he is currently leading an expedition to the center of the Earth.