Nintendo Debuts the Wii Lazy, Much to Fatties’ Delight

By Jill McKay

Published: June 1, 2009

Nintendo’s new game, the Wii Lazy. “It’s about time someone acknowledged the benefits of not exercising,” said Paul Hogan, 354 pounds. “So many people these days are on the ‘Exercise more and eat less’ bandwagon. That is just not true. People’s bodies respond differently to different things. My body, for instance, only functions on a diet rich in beef jerky, Cheetoes, and the occasional Ho Ho.”

In contrast with the popular Wii Fit, which comes with a small board that senses a person’s weight distribution during various aerobic and stretching exercises, the Wii Lazy includes a white plastic arm chair. Once the player sits in the Wii armchair, the game senses their weight, exclaims “Oh!” and then starts a timer. The game keeps the player motivated to continue sitting in the Wii armchair by declaring various positive statements like “You’re doing great, fatty!” and “Keep on sitting, you can do it!” It also discourages the player from moving by saying things like, “You seem to be shifting around a lot. Are you burning calories?”

Anticipating record breaking sales of the Wii Lazy, Nintendo has announced that they are working on additional devices to accompany the game, including the Wii hammock, the Wii scooter, and the Wii steel-reinforced king size bed.