Lonely Doctor Suggests that Fellatio May Cure Cancer

By Brooks Sherman

Published: January 1, 2009

BOSTON – Dr. Melvin Winkler is recommending an unorthodox treatment to female leukemia patients in his care. Although no evidence presently exists to support his theory, the thrice-divorced physician, who in the last year has been arrested in seven prostitution stings and recently spiraled into a deep and destructive depression, points out that there is no evidence that currently disproves its effectiveness. Except if you’re a fatty.