Wayward Teen Wiki’s Wikipedia, Unleashes Armageddon

By Joel Turner

Published: October 27, 2009

What appeared to be the inquisitive pursuit of a curious teen resulted in the annihilation of all living beings on planet earth yesterday when Cos Sullivan, a ninth-grade student from Lansing, MI, typed “wikipedia” into the Wikipedia search bar.

At the time in which The Garlic Press went to print, a massive tidal wave met an equally enormous mushroom cloud, thus solidifying the suspicion that Sullivan’s actions were directly responsible for the end of humanity.

Sullivan, along with every other human being on the planet, was unavailable for comment.