Hitchhiker Asks If He Can Drive, Car Owner Feels Awkward Saying No

By Brooks Sherman

Published: October 23, 2009

EXIT 23, I-84 – The mood outside the 7-11 rest stop remains tense, as Ernie Solbowicz delays returning to his Honda Civic and the perilous situation currently developing within. It was just twelve minutes and forty-two seconds ago that Solbowicz was presented with a query by his recently acquired passenger, a man he knows only as Pokey: “Dude-man, can I take the wheel for a little?”

Although taken aback, Solbowicz, 32, stalled cleverly, telling his passenger, age unknown, that he would “have to think about it.” Moments later, noticing a rest stop sign ahead, he took the exit, reluctantly claiming a “bathroom emergency” in an effort to buy more precious time for reflection on the matter.

“It’s not that I don’t trust him,” Solbowicz explains defensively to reporters gathered in the 7-11 parking lot. “I’m sure that, uh, Pokey is a very well-intentioned, hardworking fellow. It’s just that this car is really, um, testy. Yeah! I mean, it stalls out all the time, and fourth gear sometimes doesn’t even work at all!” Solbowicz continues to ponder his options as the deadline for a timely and diplomatic response draws dangerously close: “Maybe if I buy him a small cocoa, or a Slim Jim or something, he won’t be too disappointed.”

Back in the Honda Civic, Pokey has resigned himself to accepting whatever answer Solbowicz comes back with. “In the end, it doesn’t really matter,” he cheerfully confides to reporters as he fiddles with Solbowicz’s carefully programmed radio selection. “I already decided I was going to skin him and wear his hide like a poncho when I got into the car anyway.”