Worst Case Scenario Simulator Spreads Joy, Fear

By Jill McKay

Published: November 23, 2009

LAS VEGAS – Little Johnny Chambers got just what he wanted for his birthday this year: the Worst Case Scenario Simulator. His parents, Bill and Martha, thought they were buying just another computer game for their technology savvy son, but, like many other parents have discovered, the Worst Case Scenario Simulator is a little different from other games.

Immediately after opening his present, Johnny installed it on the computer and said, “Dad, wanna know what could happen to you on your drive to work?” and without waiting for a response, typed some information into the program and triumphantly turned the screen to show his parents a picture of a car dangling off the bridge that his dad drives over on his way to work. “There’s a 6% chance that a trucker driving a maple syrup truck will be so sleep deprived that he won’t close the latch completely and maple syrup will drip onto the road and you’ll drive over the maple syrup puddle and will lose control and skid and crash into the guard rail and will only be saved from a fiery death because you accidentally left a wrench in the engine compartment the last time you were tinkering with the engine and the weight of the wrench will be enough to keep the car from tipping off the bridge.”

“That’s . . . great, son. Thanks for that information,” Bill said.

“But only for two seconds. After that the car will fall off,” Johnny added. “Now you, Mom! Wanna know what could happen when you visit grandma next week?”

“No.”

Moments later, Johnny sat back so he could show his parents pictures of a fiery plane crash (”2% chance”), an elderly woman sprawled out on her living room floor, reaching for the phone while a cat eyes her hungrily (”17% chance”), and a tornado bearing down on a house that’s on fire and surrounded by police with their guns drawn (”56% chance”).

“Wow, Johnny, that’s really . . . something,” Martha said as she and Bill slowly backed out of the room.

Sales of the Worst Case Scenario Simulator skyrocketed in the last few months of 2009. It now outsells the family friendly Nintendo Wii and Sony Playstation 3, which has a variety of violent games that aren’t as realistic as the situations predicted by the Worst Case Scenario Simulator.

Robbie Knievel, son of Evel Knievel and spokesman for the Worst Case Scenario Simulator, says “the Worst Case Scenario Simulator has helped me envision all the gory ways I could die. Thanks, Wost Case Scenario Simulator!”