Google Unveils G-1000 Killer Robot

By Jill McKay

Published: August 30, 2009

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA – Google unveiled its latest product to an eager crowd at their press conference today, the G-1000, a humanoid robot that’s designed to find and kill fugitive 10-year-olds using Google’s patented search engine technology. Eric Schmidt, Google’s CEO said, “No 10-year-old is safe from the G-1000. Whether you want to hunt down and kill a 10-year-old in the middle of the Sahara or a 10-year-old in a shopping mall in the suburbs of the United States, the G-1000 can do it.” When asked if the G-1000 could be used by the government to find and kill terrorists, Schmidt said, “Only 10-year-old terrorists.”