Community Outraged by New Art Exhibit’s Inoffensive Attributes

By Joel Turner

Published: May 1, 2009

MODESTO, CA – Residents of Modesto are outraged by a recent installation of artwork at the Modesto Museum of Art & History, exclaiming that it is far too inoffensive for the community to bear.

“The ‘Nifty Fifties’ exhibit aims to provide museum guests with a snapshot into the past through the lens of art,” comments Susan Baird, Assistant Director of the museum. “The preserved bottles of Coke, rusted toy trucks and Texaco Gas Station posters were intended to bring joy and cultural enlightenment to the community. Sadly, all I have witnessed are hoards of parents, demanding that ‘this g-rated trash’ be taken down.”

Despite some redeemable hints of lewd expression, including a picture of Marilyn Monroe and an action figure fireman in short-sleeves, the overwhelming consensus is that the exhibit is far too wholesome. “It’s this kind of garbage that is going to land my daughter in a monogamous relationship,” says Edward Maloney. “The last thing I want in my family is for someone to bear a legitimate child.”

For the time being, the exhibit is still open to the public; however, museum officials have announced that it will soon be replaced by a local artist’s ceramic rendition of famous armpits through history.